I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
