The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My dick has a subreddit
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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