Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
