she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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