Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?