I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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