the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
