Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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