Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
