yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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