At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
