Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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