i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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