Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize