The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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