yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
