You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
