hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
