Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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