i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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