Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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