it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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