Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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