im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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