similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
