The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
