you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
