How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
