Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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