I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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