so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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