Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My balls are so social today.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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