4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
