She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm like, not good at living.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
