Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
