I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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