I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize