Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
