You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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