hell yes lets make some ravioli
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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