Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize