my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize