So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
