Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize