I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
