nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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