this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
