Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize