Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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