i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
