I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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