Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
