just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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