I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
