Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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