love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
